2021-01-13
NASA has been lying to us for too long. The Earth is flat and everyone knows it. Go outside—does the surface look round? This farce ends today. Using simulations, I will prove that the Earth is not a sphere, but a Minecraft superflat world.
We start with a simple simulation of the Sun and the Earth. Sizes are not to scale to aid visibility.
Looks normal enough, right? You might think this proves my theory wrong, but just you wait and see. Let's add the rest of the inner planets.
Everything looks right, such nice and smooth ellipses. Now we add the moon. Prepare yourselves.
Notice how the moon isn't rotating around the Earth? In fact, it's lagging quite a bit behind, rotating like a normal planet would.
Could it be that my simulation is flawed? That I failed to account for the motion of the Earth in the context of the moon's own rotation? Is this just me coming up with impressively stupid rationalizations to give to my physics teacher, justifying the seeming inaccuracy of my project? No. This is undeniable proof that something is up. However, the truth may be beyond what any of you poor, poor readers could even begin to imagine. In the time since I began drafting this essay, another thought has come to my mind. What if the flat Earth theory is just a ruse, a red herring to distract from the real truth?
After intense research, I have come to a conclusion. The Earth and its moon may be round, but there is a dark secret the powers that be are hiding from us. The truth is, the moon is made of green cheese. Look at its surface, dotted with craters. Unless one is to assert that the Swiss, and not the good ‘ol US of A, were the first land on the moon, there is no reasonable explanation.
Disregard the above, further simulations have disproved this theory. Additionally, the popularity of Swiss cheese in the US provides a reasonable explanation.
Finally, after intense Minecraft gaming, I have come to a second conclusion. Remember our original assertion that the Earth was a superflat world? While orbital mechanics may eliminate that possibility, I propose an alternative hypothesis, one incorporating the wisdom of the old with modern sciences. Read on once you feel you have adequately prepared yourself mentally and emotionally.
The Earth is a hollow cube, a folded superflat world. How does this fit into existing theories? The surface of the Earth remains flat in this scenario, fitting into most of the evidence flatties provide. However, this also works with the arguments made against a flat Earth using gravity, as there is enough distribution of mass to prevent extreme shifts. Further, this matches the results of the simulation, as a hollow cube would have significantly less mass and be unable to keep the moon in its orbit. Please see below for a mockup.
